What Are You Waiting For?

STOP AND WAIT

What Are You Waiting For?
by Lorraine Morgan Scott

You wait in line at the bank. You wait in line at the store. You wait in a room designed just for waiting. You wait for school to end. You wait until you’re older, or thinner, or have more money. You may even be waiting for some type of religious event. Have you noticed, you wait for results on a great many things.

So how much time do you spend waiting?

A better question is what do you do with your time while waiting.

How could your time be better spent? You know, we all wait for something every day, so what are you waiting for? Do something constructive or something that moves your life forward! Here are a couple of examples:

  1. When in line you can meet new people (start up a conversation with a stranger – heck, you already have at least one known thing in common.)
  2. When in a waiting room, read a chapter or two of that book you’ve been meaning to read, or write an article (like this one.)
  3. When waiting on a promotion, enroll in self-development classes, learn a complimentary skill, read an educational book that will be an asset in the new position (or even now where you are.)
  4. When waiting on the results of something (like a doctor’s report, college entrance, job application, etc.,) further your knowledge of the potential illness or injury, look at the surrounding area and/or business opportunities, or research and apply your knowledge in a helpful and confidence-building manner.

We all have something we are waiting for or people we are waiting on, but it’s what we do with our selves, the inner growth we can be addressing, and our attitude toward patience that will define our character during the period of waiting.

Maybe the reason why we’re stuck waiting is so that we develop an area or learn to have patience.

I’d love to hear your comments, but I have to close now – they just called my name.

Contact Lorraine via her website http://PepTalkCoachingandPublishing.com

 

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Is Frustration Part of Your Daily Diet?

“I’m working so hard but I can’t seem to lose the weight!” cried one woman. “I don’t know what’s wrong, why can’t I get ahead?” moaned another. Frustration was evident in their voices as goals were discussed, but when we drilled down deep into what their whole week’s actions looked like the dots started to connect into something they could see and understand.frustration

Are you doing just enough to get yourself frustrated?

Many times we make a goal and put actions in place to support achieving that goal. That part is great, but where some of us (me included) set our self up for frustration is when we don’t consider the whole goal: what is it, what does it look and feel like, what do we need to do to achieve it and how will we know when we’ve achieved it.

Each part of setting goals is important, yet the one that will keep us frustrated with our progress is the one part that defines what we need to do – what actions do we need to do on a 360 degree level to achieve our goal.

Say you want to become a millionaire in one year. What do you need to do to achieve it? Well, you need to earn $2,739.73 every day for 365 days. What actions will you take to earn that daily rate? How can you plan for short days?

Or, say you want to lose ten pounds. What dietary and lifestyle changes do you need to make? Are you exercising daily but the intensity level isn’t enough to affect change? Are you eating healthy throughout the day but then having ice cream while watching late night TV? A whole-person lifestyle plan will help keep you from getting frustrated with progress and address occasional highs, lows, and plateaus.

Whatever your goal, whether it’s losing weight, becoming a millionaire, or simply improving your typing speed or golf score – consider the whole goal approach: what’s the goal, what does success look like (visualize it), what would it feel like to achieve it (imagine the feeling of success), and what actions need to be taken on a daily basis to achieve the goal (backward planning is a great tool here).

Once you determine what exactly your goal is, and you’ve determined what actions will satisfy achieving that goal, then you have accurate information to decide if you still want to go after the goal, or reconsider it. Maybe earning $2,739.73 every day for 365 days is more than you want to attempt (you currently earn $50,000 a year). So maybe instead of becoming a millionaire in one year you go after a less-aggressive goal of becoming a millionaire in five years. The “whole goal” approach will help keep frustration out of your day so you can concentrate on being your wonderful self.

Warmly,
Lorraine

Lorraine Morgan Scott is author of “Loving Myself First: Overcoming Life’s Obstacles (Past, Present and Future)”, a certified coach, as well as a motivational speaker and singer. She specializes in helping women define their goals and reach their dreams. Contact her via email: Lorraine@PepTalkCap.com to comment or suggest a topic.

The Parallelism Between Life and a Game of Solitaire

by Lorraine Morgan Scott

How, you may wonder, can a game of cards have a semblance to “real” life? Well, the way I see it . . . in at least nine ways.

As many of you who know me know I play solitaire nearly every day in the morning. I think of the day ahead and the things I want to accomplish. Sometimes I come up with plot twisters to stories, lyrics to songs, and solutions to challenges I’m mulling over. Yes, all of this is done during one game of Addiction Solitaire (played with a deck of cards) and one game of traditional Solitaire.

And sometimes, I notice I relate the game to what’s happening in life. Seriously, I’ve found I can debate whether to move a 7 of hearts or a 7 of diamonds and wonder:

  • What are the ramifications?
  • What if I choose the wrong one?
  • How is this going to help me?

And that’s just when I’m presented with one opportunity for a red seven! What about when I have one space and three kings to choose from?

So here are nine parallelisms I find between life and the game:solitare

  1. Don’t rush – you may miss an opportunity for a life/game changer.
  2. If you make a mistake, learn from it and let it go.
  3. Sometimes you must make a choice. Make it, and don’t second-guess it.
  4. If you wait to play a card (a hand, an opportunity) you may lose your chance, and it may (or may not) come again.
  5. Multiple opportunities may present themselves, not all are right or wrong.
  6. Know when to quit (or throw in the cards).
  7. Perseverance is necessary; you may need to play (try) more than once to win (or succeed).
  8. Regret is a waste of energy, same with a self-defeating attitude. Don’t kick yourself for a bad choice, it might not be your last one – forgive yourself.
  9. Enjoy the game; enjoy what you’re doing or don’t play.

What do you think? Do you think the game of life resembles the game of Solitaire? Do you have any more parallelisms I missed? I’d love to have you share them here.

Here’s to your game of life – may it be richly rewarding and a ton of fun.

Warmly,

Lorraine Morgan Scott

You can write Lorraine at PepTalkCap dot com

 

What’s Inside?

You have a gift inside, or if you prefer a more real-world example – a specialty that you can do that no one else can do.

Are you sharing it with the world?

violinOften, people are nervous about sharing their gift because they don’t want to appear to be bragging, or prideful.

While some can certainly brag he or she is the greatest singer, writer, Frisbee player or whatever . . . most people are simply sharing their gift to help others.

I’d love to hear what you’re doing, so please share it with me

Friendly wishes,

Lorraine

Perceived Value – What is That?

targeted-value

Perceived Value
by Lorraine Morgan Scott

I read some of Cathy Alessandra’s book, “Yes I Can” and something she wrote caused me to sit back and say, “hmm.”

While Cathy shares personal nuggets of wisdom throughout the book the thing that struck me was what she wrote about “owning your worth.” Her point was that she’d been giving away free tickets to her business training events/expos to people that said they couldn’t afford the ticket price, and now, with her new way of thinking, she feels that if you couldn’t afford $147 for a full day of business training – you shouldn’t be in business.

I’m not saying Cathy was wrong (or right), by the way, merely that the statement stuck in my brain, and today, I realized why.

I’d been reading Jeffrey Gitomer’s “Little Red Book of Selling,” and it dawned on me why Cathy’s statement had struck me so. I paraphrase (heavily) from Jeffrey’s book: “people have objections to buying something when they aren’t sure of the value they’ll receive.”

That’s what got me. In my opinion, almost anyone is reluctant to spend money on training or even a free seminar (or anything) because they are unsure on how this “whatever it is” will help them.

The price is usually not the issue – it’s the “perceived value” that buyer has about the product or service.

Recently, I spent what I consider a significant amount of money on a training program to learn how to attract sponsors. The owner of the program, Linda Hollander, had done her job and convinced me that my return on investment (ROI) would be more than my investment, and that her program would do what she promised it will do. By showing me the benefits of the program, I felt my time, effort and money would be wisely spent.

Back to the $147 (or free) training, or talk, or app, or whatever. My thoughts are: Ensure whatever product or service you are providing or selling addresses the “perceived value” or getting people to buy (even a free event) will be difficult.

Perceived value affects everything! Movie-watching, book-reading, clothes, cars, and training.

Oh, and to make it more difficult – everyone’s perceived value is differentJ

What are your thoughts? Agree or disagree? Let’s talk.

Lorraine

Living Life to the Fullest

by Lorraine Morgan Scott

Have you ever felt confused about who you are or what you’re “supposed” to be doing with your life? womanonhill

I think my mother tried to figure it out, but I’m not certain she succeeded. She’d draw, but then move on to writing and compose a few poems. Then she’d move on to music and play at composing. Then she’d move on to a business but then close the doors without success. Nothing stuck.

Did she make any goals for her life? If so, were any left hanging unfulfilled before she died?

When I think about my life, I sometimes wonder if I’m living life to the fullest. Am I doing all I can to achieve my dreams or do I sit back and relax a little too much too often?

Is my time well spent or squandered?

Do I go to bed at night with an eagerness to meet tomorrow after relishing the fullness of the day of life I lived that day, or do I go to bed at the appointed time because it’s habit and I have nothing better to do?

Many people tell us what we “should” do. Many people tell us how we should live. But what is living life to the fullest and what should one use as a gauge? I’d love to hear your thoughts, you can email them to me at Lorraine@peptalkcoachingandpublishing.com

Warmly,

Lorraine

Three Tips to Treat Tiresome Thoughts

by Lorraine Morgan Scott

meloncholy.jpg
Do you feel a little down, uninspired or blue and you can’t figure out a reason why you feel that way? And when you’re feeling that way you have no gumption to pick yourself up and get moving, right? When I feel that way I get a little annoyed.

 

I have a zillion things to do! Not many things are worse than having a lot to do and no energy or inspiration to get it done – at least in my book. To make matters worse, if I give in to this feeling of nothingness and I get nothing done, then I am even more annoyed. SO what can a body do?

Here are three things you can try if you are so inclined:

1. Put on some upbeat music that makes you want to move. Positive music has been scientifically proven (and unscientifically too) to brighten your mood. dancing.jpgMusic speaks to your body and infuses it with a need to react. Dance around. Hop, shake your hips, and throw your arms in the air. Sure, you may look like Steve Martin on the dance floor – but who cares! You’re suddenly moving and feeling good, and your mood has brightened.

2. Go for a walk. Overcast skies can dampen your spirits when you’re inside, but when you get outside the cooler temperature invigorates briskness in your step and you feel a keen sense of healthiness when you are outdoors with nature. Walking on a treadmill is exercise, no ifs, ands, or buts about it – so it doesn’t (for me anyway) have the same uplifting benefit.

phoning.jpg3. Call a positive-minded person on the phone. Laughter is one of the best mood enhancers. When you connect with a person who is positive you are tapping into their vibe! Be a good connector though and suck up their energy and then recycle your mood to share good thoughts as well. Nobody wants to share his or her energy only to have drain away.

The last technique, although not a tip, is to plough through. While not feeling your spunky self, you may (as I often do) feel a great sense of achievement when you’ve completed the items on your “to-do” list. Maybe you’ll feel exhilarated after you’ve completed that last item – works for meJ

Tell me, how do you do what you aim to do when you’re feeling a little blue?

Warm regards,

Lorraine Morgan Scott

 

Understanding Anger

by Lorraine Morgan Scott

Do you get so angry sometimes that you feel like you want to strike out with vengeance?

When you’re angry, do you feel it is their fault? They did it; they deserve the effects of your anger (yelling, cussing, slamming things, hitting things, hitting something?)

You’re not alone. Many people feel anger on a daily basis. Many people feel some level of anger (being upset, irate, enraged, furious, annoyed or frustrated) at different or multiple times of the day.

Have you ever stopped to think about why you’re angry? Not the “thing” in front of you, but the reason behind the thing in front of you. Anger (and all it’s levels) is an emotion. As an emotion, just as happiness, sadness or elation – it is a choice.

angerfaceA choice.

You choose to get upset, choose to get furious, choose to get angry over something, someone, or some action or inaction.

Sure, it’s normal and somewhat healthy to feel anger when you feel you’ve been mistreated or wronged – the feeling isn’t the problem it’s what you do with it. If you start yelling, cussing, hitting, or hurting someone or something – that isn’t good. It’s not good for you or anyone around you.

You may be wondering how it can it be healthy to feel anger. If you take a step back from the situation, breathe, and try to determine what it is about the situation that set you off – you can uncover a whole lot about you, your values, and your communication ability.

When we become angry it is because someone or something has rubbed against one of our values. As an example, if we feel we deserve to be treated with respect and someone is rude, obnoxious, or talks to us in a tone or style we don’t expect – this can make us angry.

Why are we angry? Because our self worth says: I deserve to be respected. To meet our expectation that person would have to talk and act within what we determine to be acceptable behavior. If respect to us is that we expect them to be polite, use courteous words, proper body language, a tone that is friendly or reverent – anything other than what we expect can appear to be disrespectful. Do you see how it is our expectation and description of what respect is that – our definition of that value- that has been violated?

How angry we become about what we “perceive” to be disrespect depends on how closely being respected is our to core sense of self-image, our sense of worth. If we have a high sense of self-worth, then the incident may annoy us slightly in a passing manner or have no effect at all. However, if having everyone, including strangers “show us respect” and someone doesn’t treat us in the way we expect – we will probably be angry, very angry.

Anger, and the different levels of the emotion, can cause serious problems when it is unleashed and misunderstood. Relationships can be damaged, further misunderstanding can occur, jobs can be lost, or crimes can be committed. When someone chooses to become angry over an incident without understanding why he or she is angry – the outcome can be unexpected.

May I suggest that if you get angry often, or are unsure of what sets you off – that you take some time to explore your core values and what their definition mean to you. Then take some and determine how you can choose to respond when one of your values is being neglected, rejected, or disrespected. When you reach a place of solidly valuing your self and your ideals, then you are able to deflect knee-jerk reactions of anger and instead objectively look at the incident and determine what is going on, why did he or she do or say this, how do I feel about this, what is my part in this, what can be done to resolve the issue without anger, violence, damage.

Free resources and further information is available online – just Google search anger. Take charge of your emotions instead of letting your emotions dictate how you choose to respond.

Wishing you the emotional stability, always.

Lorraine

Certified professional coach Lorraine Morgan Scott is author of Loving Myself First: Overcoming Life’s Obstacles (Past, Present, and Future), and 12 Easy Ways to Tame Your Stress Monster.

Sneaky, Invisible and Damaging: What Can Imprison a Determined Achiever?

By Lorraine Morgan Scott

spookyIt’s like a dark presence you can feel on a moonless night: sinister.

Invisible.

Disorienting.

You know something is there but you can’t describe it. It’s a taste left in your mouth – bitter, metallic; you wonder if you’re bleeding internally.

Self-doubt is a motivation killer, a hidden root you stumble on, a hillside you tumble down that leaves you dazed, broken and paralyzed.
Has this happened to you? You’re focused on a goal, have your milestones identified, prepared the foundation to achieve the desired result… and nothing. You’re still in the starting block like a racehorse in her first race. You can’t explain it. It’s like there is an invisible hand grasping your collar holding you back from taking that next step.BarbedWire

That could be self-doubt. It could be your inner protection system keeping you from getting hurt, keeping you from possible failure.

“What?” you ask. How crazy is Lorraine today, you think. “I don’t have any inner protection system going on that I’m not aware of,” you exclaim.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “if I don’t try…I won’t fail, or, I’m not quite ready yet, I’ll wait until I get everything together.”

In the coaching world we call the little voice telling you to stop, be careful, wait; Gremlins. In the IPEC world we break Gremlins down even further and call them GAIL’s. GAIL’s are the self-limiting beliefs and self-protecting, invisible thoughts and actions that hold us in our comfort zone. When we are unaware of our GAIL’s and Gremlins we find it extremely difficult to move forward in one or more areas of our life – regardless of how determined we are as an achiever.

I know, because I just escaped from a sneaky, creepy, and unforeseen long depleting and immobilizing self-protection barricade that left me stunned as I became aware of it. I was astounded. Actually, the effects of realization are still raw; I just surfaced from its clutches a few hours ago.

It took FAILING a test (literally), to bring my captor, my paralyzing self-doubt, my unknown and invisible self-protecting mechanism to the surface. I know my grasp of grammar and sentence structure is not so great. I know each time I write I struggle between a comma, a semi-colon, and what the hell do I do with a dangling modifier? I know I struggle with these challenges, but I didn’t know I was holding myself back from one of my biggest loves (writing) because of these challenges.free

Now that my Gremlin is visible I can (kill, stab, attack, rationalize, understand, embrace, soothe) do the things necessary to build confidence and competence so that I am comfortable moving outside of my comfort zone and striving to set and achieve my goals.

Have you felt invisible bonds holding you in place? Is there ‘something out there’ you can’t explain, something that waits on the fringe of consciousness? If this sounds like something you’re experiencing and you want assistance in discovering yourself – I’m here for you. Or, to crack those bindings – try this: DO NOT read ahead – if you can, stop what you’re doing to spend 30 seconds on this.

1. In a quiet place where you can be alone for a minute, ask yourself this question: “what do I want?”

2. Immediately, capture the thought that popped into your head. Don’t soften it, don’t tweak it. That thought is your deepest desire.

3. Now ask yourself, “Am I do “it”, am I living “it”?

4. Now ask yourself why. I surmise a whole lot of excuses popped up. That my friend, is your Gremlin protecting you.

As a self-development coach, you know I’m going to tell you that where there is a desire, there is a way. Now all you need to do is design your action plan and get working (and growing) toward your goals.

I’m here if you need help. 509.590.9365, or Lorraine@LorraineScottCoaching.com

Warmly, and to your success,

Lorraine