Loving Yourself First – It’s Essential

By Lorraine Morgan Scott

If you don’t love yourself – how can you truly love another person. This is the premise in which I wrote the book, “Loving Myself First: Overcoming Life’s Obstacles (Past, Present and Future). It’s as true today as it was the day it was published. 

My reasoning for this position is this:

If you love who your are – then jealousy won’t keep you from giving of yourself to family, friends, associates and even strangers. Giving praise, knowledge, assistance (and so on) takes self-confidence and a lack of worry that making someone else look or feel good won’t show you up; giving knowledge and assistance – when you love yourself and you’re confident – is a boost to yourself and makes you feel good.

If you love yourself – then someone else’s negativity toward you won’t be internalized. If someone you care about says or does something that hurts your feelings, you are able to shake it off as their opinion or their action. Whereas, if you aren’t on the “you” train – you may internalize the hurtful comment and replay it over and over in your mind. This is damaging to your relationship as well as your self-worth. If you love yourself, you are able to consider the comment, see if there is a take-away, and move on.

If you love yourself – you know you’re not perfect, but you’re doing the very best you can in each situation. And when you love yourself, you know that you make mistakes. You learn from your mistake, and let it go – making an effort not to make the same mistake again. When you love yourself, you don’t carry around guilt, regret, and negativity. You love yourself enough to strive to be the best you, period.

If you love yourself, you can fully support the care and development of others. There’s no hidden agenda, you truly want the best for them and you want to do what you can to help them. What an awesome feeling!

Think how much better our world could be without hate and greed. Hate, in my opinion, stems from an inability to accept another person’s beliefs and opinions when they differ from ours. It’s a person’s lack of self-confidence in themselves and a lack of self-worth. If you feel self-worth, you KNOW others may have differing opinions – and that’s OK, they’re entitled to their own opinion, and you respect that.

Greed, in my opinion, stems from the desire to feel that they are better than someone, that they have more, are more important. Greedy people don’t value others, because deep down – they suffer from a lack of self-worth. If you have self-worth, than you don’t need to have the title, the biggest house, the most money — at the expense of others. Greed is at the expense of others – when you’re breaking laws, hurting people (like knowingly squandering their investments or savings), knowingly causing harm to the environment (by pouring toxins in rivers and poison, etc.) of finding loop holes in laws to have workers in unsafe conditions to make a few extra dollars – to me, that’s greed.

When you love yourself – you consciously want to make other people’s lives better. You want to open the communication in your relationship to break down barriers. You treat people and animals with care and respect. You follow the law, and when in disagreement go through the channels to review or amend them.

When you love yourself – you don’t hit, or steal, or kill.

How would our world be different if everyone loved the person they are – right now, even knowing that there are areas they want to improve upon (we all have them)? I would sure like to find out.

How about you? Your thoughts?