By Lorraine Morgan Scott
It’s like a dark presence you can feel on a moonless night: sinister.
You know something is there but you can’t describe it. It’s a taste left in your mouth – bitter, metallic; you wonder if you’re bleeding internally.
Self-doubt is a motivation killer, a hidden root you stumble on, a hillside you tumble down that leaves you dazed, broken and paralyzed.
Has this happened to you? You’re focused on a goal, have your milestones identified, prepared the foundation to achieve the desired result… and nothing. You’re still in the starting block like a racehorse in her first race. You can’t explain it. It’s like there is an invisible hand grasping your collar holding you back from taking that next step.
That could be self-doubt. It could be your inner protection system keeping you from getting hurt, keeping you from possible failure.
“What?” you ask. How crazy is Lorraine today, you think. “I don’t have any inner protection system going on that I’m not aware of,” you exclaim.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “if I don’t try…I won’t fail, or, I’m not quite ready yet, I’ll wait until I get everything together.”
In the coaching world we call the little voice telling you to stop, be careful, wait; Gremlins. In the IPEC world we break Gremlins down even further and call them GAIL’s. GAIL’s are the self-limiting beliefs and self-protecting, invisible thoughts and actions that hold us in our comfort zone. When we are unaware of our GAIL’s and Gremlins we find it extremely difficult to move forward in one or more areas of our life – regardless of how determined we are as an achiever.
I know, because I just escaped from a sneaky, creepy, and unforeseen long depleting and immobilizing self-protection barricade that left me stunned as I became aware of it. I was astounded. Actually, the effects of realization are still raw; I just surfaced from its clutches a few hours ago.
It took FAILING a test (literally), to bring my captor, my paralyzing self-doubt, my unknown and invisible self-protecting mechanism to the surface. I know my grasp of grammar and sentence structure is not so great. I know each time I write I struggle between a comma, a semi-colon, and what the hell do I do with a dangling modifier? I know I struggle with these challenges, but I didn’t know I was holding myself back from one of my biggest loves (writing) because of these challenges.
Now that my Gremlin is visible I can (kill, stab, attack, rationalize, understand, embrace, soothe) do the things necessary to build confidence and competence so that I am comfortable moving outside of my comfort zone and striving to set and achieve my goals.
Have you felt invisible bonds holding you in place? Is there ‘something out there’ you can’t explain, something that waits on the fringe of consciousness? If this sounds like something you’re experiencing and you want assistance in discovering yourself – I’m here for you. Or, to crack those bindings – try this: DO NOT read ahead – if you can, stop what you’re doing to spend 30 seconds on this.
1. In a quiet place where you can be alone for a minute, ask yourself this question: “what do I want?”
2. Immediately, capture the thought that popped into your head. Don’t soften it, don’t tweak it. That thought is your deepest desire.
3. Now ask yourself, “Am I do “it”, am I living “it”?
4. Now ask yourself why. I surmise a whole lot of excuses popped up. That my friend, is your Gremlin protecting you.
As a self-development coach, you know I’m going to tell you that where there is a desire, there is a way. Now all you need to do is design your action plan and get working (and growing) toward your goals.
I’m here if you need help. 509.590.9365, or Lorraine@LorraineScottCoaching.com
Warmly, and to your success,